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December 23, 2006
It seems like it's only been a week or two since Deacon J gave me a pair of bright red earrings that are really tiny bells, but it has been an entire year. Today seemed like a very good day to wear them, so I put them on and went to Curves. People laughed as I jingled my way through my workout -- I had forgotten that the earrings actually ring when I shake my head. She also gave me a pair of golden reindeer head earrings with googly eyes, which I did not select this morning -- sometimes our DJ just can't make up her mind at the dollar store.

Not everything is done here, of course. Somehow I got the lights all turned around out front, ending up with two female plugs seeking to be joined, something that seems to work fine for people but just doesn't fly with electrical cords. I had to admit to Q that I couldn't figure out the lights, which is something I hate to do: admitting a domestic incompetence makes me feel like I'm starring in "I Love Lucy." I've been putting up Christmas lights by myself for decades -- why have I suddenly done it wrong?

Is tomorrow okay for me to change the lights around? Q asked me. It was getting dark.

Never would be good, I said silently. I was still angry at myself for screwing them up. Not even the creative inspiration of putting a string of lights on the kindling sticks that fill an enormous pot on the porch, as big as a tree. How about we never fix them?

Yeah, I said out loud, tomorrow's fine.

Oh, relax. Do them tomorrow or don't do them. Just do what you can and don't worry about it. Get some rest so you can preach.

Who said that? I looked around. It wasn't Q - he had gone back into the living room. I was alone in the kitchen. There was no one else here. But whoever it was -- Jesus? Justus? My dad?--was right, of course.

I'm not going to be harsh with myself about anything. Not a thing. I've never known it to do me a bit of good. I'm just going to do what I can do and be joyful about it -- more than that, none of us can do. My glass is going to be half full until it is all the way empty. Jesus is coming! We all have better things to do than give ourselves a failing grade in Christmas 101.
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